A Letter of Love, Faith, and Coping

A Letter of Love, Faith & Coping

My son’s girlfriend, Gillian, passed away from cystic fibrosis on February 20, 2014. This was one of the toughest times for my family and I am ready to now share the letter I wrote dear Gillian a month after she passed away:

It matters not how many days have passed since you left this world, it is too new, too raw, and seems we’ve grieved a lifetime already, but it’s still not enough. The absence you left when you passed from this world to the next has sucked all the air from our lungs. It is devastating and confusing.

I misplaced blame and anger wrongly at what happened before you left. I am sorry. I prayed my hardest, but the results came out differently. I accept God’s plan and my faith has been healed. I know you are dancing, free from struggle, and joyful in heaven, but we are all so lost without you. You healed my son and left him broken at the same time. I pray now for everyone left behind to obtain peace within, to live through their feelings and conflicts, no matter how difficult, and to find the gift of joy you left with us all.

When my Grandfather passed years ago, I lost my faith. I walked through the motions trying to find understanding and peace with God. I attended church, taught catechism, and more, but it mattered not. I saw my grandmother so alone and lost, childlike almost, so sad. I lost hope in heaven and belief that there was anything beyond. I internalized that death was final, dust was just dust, and the soul did not move on. You, dear girl, changed that for me. It was completely indirect, you could not have known. You passed your faith to my son, transferred so perfectly, while keeping just as much for yourself during your beautiful relationship. I will be eternally grateful.

It happened on February 18, 2014 when my faith returned as Chris transferred his energy to you, hoping it was enough to heal your earthen body. I could see before you woke, the transfer of power being willed from his hand to you, while holding your hand. I will be forever thankful that against all odds, you woke that day, and you shared your love with all once more. It was a blessing to have those moments with you and witness such unconditional love in the room. We miss you so much and can not begin to heal fully from your physical absence, we cannot even understand where to begin. You have been fully healed, no pain, no struggle, no worry, no nervous cuticle picking, no more needle poking, no surgeries, no endless pills, and no vest.

I pray for Chris’s peace, I ask him to give this pain to God. He keeps running, spirit runs, which worry me, not for his mind or body as I know it does him good, but for his safety. I hope it gave you a chuckle when that coyote was spooked by him in the wee dark hours of morning. This young man has a passion and fire that most his age can not even comprehend, never mind adults. You got him so completely, thank you for that love. He will carry you with him forever and the brokenness he has currently may mend, but he will be forever altered for having met you, loving you, and being loved by you.

A Letter of Love, Faith & Coping

 

Melissa ReadMelissa is in her first year of homeschooling her teenaged son, while working part-time.  She enjoys the simple life, but her husband is a super techie.  It’s an interesting balance as Melissa strives to learn more homesteading skills, while her husband is playing the latest Xbox game.  Find Melissa’s Facebook page:  Minor in Homeschool.

Teach Kindness and Your Children Will Rise

Teach Kindness & Your Children Will Rise!

It was an ordinary Tuesday.   I had finished working at noon, and my son had begun working on his lessons.  I headed into the shower and while washing my face, I heard my dogs going nuts downstairs.  They were barking, growling, and howling.  I knew someone had to be either on the porch, or in the yard, as they don’t get that excited otherwise.  This irritated me!  Maybe because I felt vulnerable due to the timing of a visitor.   My dogs were upset and my son’s lessons were interrupted, and I got myself all worked up and annoyed.  I hollered out to my son, to see if he could see what the commotion was and a man was leaving the yard.  I knew it must be the fellow pilfering through our trash and recycling bins, but I felt invaded as he was on the property.  After all, it wasn’t trash day, and he’d have his opportunity curbside, the following day.

When I finished my shower and got dressed, I stormed into our office and announced I was going to go locate this man and give him a piece of my mind.  I was going to tell him not to come into the yard again, as it upsets the dogs.  I was also going to let him know that I don’t recycle cans and bottles, as I return them myself, and there would be no need for him to return.  My son just looked at me and then I went off downstairs.

I Was Being Schooled and He Was 100% Right

Be Kind

A few minutes later, my son came downstairs and said, “Ok mom, we can go find him if you want.”  I glanced over and looked at him questioningly and then he continued, “I think instead of giving him a piece of your mind though, you should give him a granola bar.”  Huh?  “Well mom, if he’s looking for returnables, then that means he needs money, and if he needs money, he is probably hungry, so we should give him granola bars so he isn’t hungry anymore.”  I was being schooled and he was 100% right and then some.  Love this kid!  I agreed instantly and told my son we should bring him water too, because if he’s been riding his bicycle all day looking for cans and bottles, he’s likely grown thirsty.

We loaded up a plastic bag with granola bars and waters and filled another bag with bottles and cans to return. Then, we got in the car and drove around looking for this man.  He was not too far, only the next street over.  We turned around, pulled over, and my son hopped out and handed him our offering.  This man was so grateful and I was humbled by my son’s kindness.  I really felt a fool for having gotten so upset to begin with.  I was so thankful that my son was now homeschooled to be present at that time to rise above and teach me this lesson.

Being Homeschooled Has Allowed My Son to Overcome  Adversities

I taught my son to be kind.  He had learned this and was living this, but I was not practicing kindness or thoughtfulness at the moment of the dogs freaking out that day.  My son reminded me to see the good and take a different perspective with situations.  Being homeschooled has allowed my son to overcome the adversities he experienced from public school with bullying, assaults, a friend’s suicide, saving another friend from suicide, and overall high school drama.  During the roughest of times, I feared I would lose him to his attackers, but he is still with us and better than ever!

Have your children faced struggles or taught you invaluable lessons?  How did you overcome the struggles or learn from the lessons?