Good Mom – Bad Mom Battle Tips to Sleep

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Swoosh… our head hits the pillow. It’s the end of a long day. Moments of the day flash through our mind. Suddenly, our heart is heavy as we remember the moments we blew it. Then gut wrenching guilt follows and overtakes our weary mind. Thus, the good mom bad mom battle wages war in our heart and mind.

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Many offer advice. Some dispense their counsel unsolicited, dumping their failures in our lap expecting us to follow their suit of negativity. Everyone evaluates our parenting, even strangers. However, we are often our own worst enemy.

We have our expectations of how we want to raise our kids. Then the added pressure to please family.  Finally, the ever changing of our community that seems to keep the bar raised just out of our reach.  Our pursuit of being a good mom comes from our deep desire to give our families our best. Therefore when we miss the mark, even slightly, we beat ourselves up.

Mothering takes sacrifice, homeschooling requires our vitality. We know this. To keep control and to stay on task we use scrutiny as a form of self-discipline. Typically fear is found at the root of control. Because our love runs so deep for our family we are tripped by control and fall into the bondage of fear.

We fear failing our family. We fear failing as a mother. We fear failing our kids and their education. Satan knows this, (he waited for Jesus to become weary in the wilderness). So he prowls at the end of the day when our hearts are tired and weary, and then at just the right moment he SNAPS at us with fear – in order to steal, kill, and destroy.

The good news is Jesus came to give life and give it more abundantly! We can be released from the bondage of fear and walk in freedom of grace.

Fear distorts our belief. We think to be a good mom:

  • We should spend every waking hour with our child, entertaining them.
  • If something is wrong with our child, it’s our fault.
  • We must over indulge our child with a full schedule and toys.
  • We need to be the one who cares for our kids, no one else, not even our husbands.
  • Complete all the household chores without help from our kids.

When our parenting is fueled by fear we lose the purpose God has for our life. To regain perspective, we need rest. Sleep deprivation comes free with motherhood. There are seasons that poor sleeping habits are unavoidable. During those seasons guard your heart and your mind, accept grace. You are a good mom!

Tips For Finding Rest.

  1. When you lay in bed and suddenly struck by fear, turn that fear into a faith filled prayer.
  2. Instead of scrolling through your social media at night, scroll through your bible app.
  3. Keep a note book by your bed, write down concerns, and let them go.
  4. Remember you good moments too.
  5. Count your blessings.

Momma, if God needed to rest on the seventh day…you definitely need rest! Long term investments do not bring instant results.  The work you are doing on a day in, day out basis seems monotonous. Keep in mind you are working towards a much bigger prize by investing in your family and it takes time. Your investment will pay off in the long term. Enjoy the journey. For more encouragement become a member of Schoolhouse Teachers and gain access to my daily column  JOY IN THE MORNING.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30 NIV

Image Credit:  Freedigitalimages.net “Worried Young Woman On Bed” by David Castillo Dominici

 

Michelle Pohl - BloomingwithJoy.comMichelle is a storyteller who encourages her readers to begin Blooming with Joythrough every chaotic moment, disappointment, and mess. Her readers keep her motivated to be real with life and laugh at her mistakes. Michelle is reformed coffee addict turned devoted tea drinker. She lives in Missouri, USA with her husband and homeschools her three daughters. Shas experienced God’s peace while enduring life’s many messes; childhood abuse, motherhood, miscarriage, and homeschooling. All the while, allowing God to trade her ashes for beauty. She has learned we can begin Blooming With Joy through every obstacle when our Hope is in Jesus!  You can visit her on her blog, Blooming With JoyFacebookTwitter and Pinterest.

 

Time Management: Unpack the Schedule

timemanagmentFor me, it’s much easier to give help than to receive it.  You too? I don’t want to be a bother. It’s fine. I can make do. My intention and perhaps yours too, is to give my best efforts to my family. Consequently, I expel a massive amount of energy to show my love.  In the end, I am empty. My head buzzes as if I revved the engine all day but never left the parking spot.

Other times, the problem is overzealous multitasking. I’m not talking about making toast while unloading the dishwasher. I mean teaching school, while cleaning the whole kitchen, chasing a toddler, while planning the next event for church!  Biting off way more than can be chewed. It’s inevitable at times. But sometimes it’s self-inflicted. Either way we are left short fused, usually at the expense of our families.

Refusing help and overzealous multitasking at unhealthy levels can be echoes of PRIDE. In these moments we are leaving God and His infinite wisdom out of the equation.

When pride comes, disgrace follows, but with humility comes wisdom. Proverbs 11:2

As mothers, we do not have anything to prove to the world. Yet, we have endless wisdom to seek. Let’s slow down for a sec, take a deep breath and ask.

Tips to Unpack: the Schedule

  1. Ask for help: Our needs are not obvious to others. Communicate needs respectfully.
  2. Know your limits: Spend time praying about priorities. Being capable of completing the task is invalid when one is overextended. Jack of all trades = master of none.
  3. Setting boundaries: Find the line and do not cross it. Distinguishing between what is imperative and what is a distraction is crucial.

We can do all things…through Jesus Christ WHO gives us strength! Philippians 4:13

Momma, you were not designed with superpowers. You were created by a Supernatural God who wants to lavish His all into you.

Be still and know He is God. Psalms 46:10

Sometimes the best thing we can do is just “be.”  We always want to do for God, as in action.  Serving, but not sitting still.  We teach our children there are two kinds of verbs; action and being. Essentially, being with God is an action. We tend to minimize it because we are unable see the instant results we are looking for. When we are being still, He is working deep inside where it can’t yet be seen. In faith those little unseen seeds will produce great fruit.

Which are you more likely to struggle with?  Refusing help or overzealous multitasking? How will you implement practical changes to bring peace into your home?

 

Before we go. I wanted to share with you a new tool I will be using to teach my girls about the Bible. Its called Grape Vine Studies – stick figures through the bible! Read, discuss, draw, and memorize scripture. It can be used as a discipleship enrichment or as a homeschool curriculum.

They offer many free lessons too!

We are going to start with Esther – my girls ask questions about her, I’m looking forward to diving in on a level they will understand!

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Michelle Pohl - BloomingwithJoy.comMichelle is a storyteller who encourages her readers to begin Blooming with Joythrough every chaotic moment, disappointment, and mess. Her readers keep her motivated to be real with life and laugh at her mistakes. Michelle is reformed coffee addict turned devoted tea drinker. She lives in Missouri, USA with her husband and homeschools her three daughters. Shas experienced God’s peace while enduring life’s many messes; childhood abuse, motherhood, miscarriage, and homeschooling. All the while, allowing God to trade her ashes for beauty. She has learned we can begin Blooming With Joy through every obstacle when our Hope is in Jesus!  You can visit her on her blog, Blooming With Joy, Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.